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I love guys who wear glasses.

It’s like some weird fetish I can’t explain.

“It’s because they make the face appear symmetrical.”

Maybe it’s because I was raised on Harry Potter.

I bet in every life He has worn glasses, and I’ve loved them.

I had a really long week— it was literally longer than a week. Like most of my benders, it’s been a fever dream of sunrises, sunsets, and men with glasses.

There’s this one boy, he’s so special to me. We’ve been friends for years, and I feel particularly safe when I’m with him, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Spiritually, he’s probably another karmic lesson. He’s really cute. He likes sports, especially wrestling, which I have mixed feelings about. He’s also into conspiracy theories. Every time we finally link, we talk for hours. When my ex tried playing the “you’re microcheating” card, this boy was one of the few whom I didn’t block. After I broke up with my ex, he was the first guy I felt safe enough to kiss. Apparently, though, he doesn’t love himself, or at least that’s what he keeps telling me. It’s such a shame but maybe I’m being protected. Recently, I’ve come to learn that men are very intentional, so if he outright tells me that he’s into me but knows he has unresolvable issues, then okay, I believe him.

I’m finally learning how to assess whether someone’s personal development complements mine. For so long, I believed that friendship could create a love that could withstand anything, but now I recognize that chemistry isn’t enough. Working on ourselves is a lifelong endeavor, but before I commit to a relationship, I want to discern whether we’ll contribute to each other’s progress and where we should establish boundaries. I finally respect the demands of commitment, in their scope and extremity. Also, I want to determine this compatibility without asking so many questions that it comes across as desperation. Just as I may not be able to explain where I’ve been or where I’m going, I want to permit others the dignity of privacy in their journey.

There’s this other boy with glasses. I love him so much that my younger self believed that if we ever broke up, I would just die. But after five years we did break up, and since then, I’ve compared every guy I’ve been with to him. This summer, seven years later, I hear that he’s engaged, so I finally let him leave my mind. Weeks later, he called to say hi. I didn’t expect to hear from him after that but a few more weeks later, I stepped onto my street as he was passing by. “Zara?” He recognized me without me recognizing him. We hung out several times since then— he helped make my birthday special when I was going through heartbreak and he was an especially kind friend a few times when I needed one. His engagement was off and he was at a pivotal point in his life. We bonded over where time takes us, I advised his astrology, and I took him on some side quests. I mourn for his ex and hope she has someone to similarly comfort her.

I’m happy— I missed him so much— but we agreed to keep a healthy distance, only checking in here and there. I’m mostly shocked to realize I outgrew him. I prayed tearfully for his return— my salvation from incomparable men— but our journeys have clearly diverged. I’m proud of myself for realizing that he isn’t aligned with me, and I’m proud of him too for not clinging to my comfort in his weakness. I wonder when we really, actually stopped wanting each other. I used to worry I was behind in life because I didn’t stay with him and choose the path with a degree, job, partner, and finances that my peers chose, but I take a lot of pride in my personal development, sense of self, and free spirit. I want everything, I want it all, but more than anything, I want to experience the world as my most aligned self.

There’s this other guy with glasses who’s a dancer. I think he’s on the front of my mind because our dynamic is so sexy. I see him every week at this club and have been absolutely longing but patiently waiting for something to happen. I love the way he dances— he totally gets lost in the vibration. What a party boy. When we catch each other’s eye, he always has a smile for me. We made out finally, for too long, and he charmed me by being gentle, coy, and self-assured but my friends told him they think he’s ugly! He said he didn’t care and kissed me one more time. We had decided not to exchange Instagrams— because being sexy strangers is much interesting— but this week he found my account.

I like playing games, drawing out connections, letting tension and attraction build into either a crush or disgust. I love little romances. I was supposed to do this with my ex, be infatuated in a playful way until it was distressingly clear that we were destined for romance, not just friendship. Unfortunately, at some point, the wrong partner stops being a playmate. Maybe it’s because we become impatient about something that the relationship no longer gratifies. I’m okay with this guy being a side character in my lore. I’m okay with teasing our connection. I’m in no rush for anything other than my creative career and I think he feels the same.

There’s another tall, handsome boy with glasses whom I love bumping into. The joke is that he looks way too familiar, specifically because he looks too familiar, but I really do have a crush. I want to play games with him, to be tempting and to be romanced. I want to have a connection, even if it’s just as friends. He wanders around, appearing at spots I go to and sharing mutuals who are also chronically downtown. Maybe it’s my heart or my eyes, but my brain tells me he’s wizard-coded or at least a weird little dude. He was so mysterious for a while, but now I’ve gotten to meet him and the fascination is pulling me into the next timeline.

He’s handsome, a musician, and lovesick. He’s just my type, but unfortunately, he already has a muse. Right now, we’re both going through breakups that share uncomfortably similar timelines. He told me he’s not interested because he’s mourning for his ex. I mourn for her, too— my last breakup brought out my sensitive, jealous side that aches for a special connection. Whether or not she feels the way I do about my ex, it doesn’t matter— knowing that the girls are heartbroken repulses me from ever developing feelings for their previous partners. I have a lot of feelings and distractions these days, so I’m grateful that he’s setting boundaries. In my mind, as a single baddie terrorizing this town, our dynamic comforts me with speculations about the wisdom of the universe’s timing.

Unfortunately, the universe likes to play games as well, making a mockery of fantasy. This other freak with glasses was tall, dark, and looked like Desi Harry Potter. I just know that my mom accidentally manifested him for me after lecturing me days before— an example of how your mother’s prayers might curse you. I introduced myself to him at Goth Night and blushed while he sang Bollywood’s to me on our date the following day, but to be honest, he immediately traumatized me. He was hypersexual, had no attention span, and kept finding romantic excuses to violate my boundaries. So, I don’t want to linger on discussing him, although I wish I had more energy to strongly caution young femmes from freaks like this. He has a Scorpio moon, party boy energy, and addiction problems— drama that is all too familiar and definitely not worth the cost for the wrong person.

What bothers me the most about this guy is how easily I violated my own boundaries to keep the party going or be a nice girl. F****** around and finding out is a serious thing— it’s not just a goofy phrase. I need to be better at saying no because the situations I sometimes put myself in are unreasonable and draining. Let alone how many situations have I fumbled by indulging in the excitement instead of maintaining self-control? This guy was an energy vampire and I let him feast— maybe because I was lonely, maybe because I was bored, or maybe because I shut down when it’s a struggle to hold my boundaries. Immediately, I need to do some deep self-reflection and take action because this weakness does not align with me anymore! If I don’t protect myself, who will? If I don’t keep promises to myself, who will? If I don’t respect myself, who will?

This next guy with glasses is increasingly so special to me. He’s from out of state and in his first year of a PhD program, which is so cool! He’s thoughtful, friendly, goofy, handsome like handsome Squidward, interesting, accepting, intelligent, patient, self-aware, and generous. Interestingly, though, I’m actually falling out of my crush. Our friends say they think he likes me, he’s told me he does and I told him I did too, but actually, I only want him as a friend.

I don’t want to lose another special relationship to the island of ex-romances. It could be my fear of heartbreak or that I’ve finally matured out of needing every man’s validation. I think it’s because I’ve learned broader imaginations about the many different types of relationships a femme-masc duo can have. Vanessadomslife is a TikTok creator who discusses the idea of limerence and how a lot of creative partnerships are lost to failed romantic relationships. I feel that way about my ex— he was my best friend who helped me out of a dark space and to find a footing in Riverside’s art scene, but I didn’t know how the cost of losing him would weigh against the value of being his girlfriend. I wish I had been more realistic about our relationship when I had the chance. So, because I want a healthy network and many good friends, some people are best kept within boundaries, especially if I don’t actually feel a connection that is significant enough to warrant a romantic relationship. Given that we’ll likely only choose one or a few life partners and some relationships can’t be kept after dating, why set someone up for failure?

Some boundaries are so natural. One of my favorite guys with glasses is quickly becoming a new best friend. He has a kind heart and a good head on his shoulders, and extends generosity and security in ways that make less secure people obviously uncomfortable. It’s like our inner lover boy and inner lover girl have found a safe space in each other’s friendship. We met at Tiki Goth night where he tapped me on the shoulder to say I looked “really pretty”. We chatted for a bit but I went back for the dance floor, thinking I might see him around some other time. I was minding my business, dancing, but a couple of guys were hovering, so I turned to escape their gaze and spun right into him! We danced for a bit, and it was so easy to blend— we both closed our eyes while we enjoyed the music. Now, we’re inseparable.

I’m blessed to have found a strong and authentic friendship in him. He’s a happy reminder of how feminine and masculine energy have complementary potential, sexuality or romance aside. It’s actually very interesting how femininity and masculinity are expressed in each of us, and how we attempt to fulfill either component when the other needs support. Noticing this aptitude for how duos can balance, overcompensate, or undercompensate femininity-masculinity has given me a new lens for understanding relationships on a broader scale as well. To this point, what do we rob our friends of when we confine feminine-masculine dynamics to sexual or romantic interactions? What is lost when we feel threatened by or distanced from femininity or masculinity because its various expressions are absent from our relationships? It’s a disservice that perverts femme-masc dichotomies, perpetuates a culture of sexualization, and limits opportunities to expand our worldview, resources, and shared experiences. Whoever this wonderful man with glasses was in our last lives, I feel like I’ve been waiting for him to help balance my team in this life.

And of course, there’s the boy with glasses whose eyes linger in my mind. He showed up twice this week in person and many more times in my thoughts. When I first met him, he didn’t like wearing glasses but I convinced him they looked great and now he wears them for someone else. I saw him at Art Walk— we were maybe fifteen feet apart, listening to our friend’s bands play, pretending each other didn’t exist. Later that night, I caught him looking across the street and I felt bold, so I waved, he jumped and hid his face, but then turned back to look for me, so I ran off. I saw him try to follow— I wonder what he was thinking. I saw him again at a bar the next day. He was with a girl and I watched his glasses glaze over when he made eye contact with me. I ran to the back patio, holding my heart tight. It took a moment to get centered, but I shrugged off the stress and committed to a good night. In less than twenty minutes, he came out. I looked through the camera in my phone and saw he was sitting back to back with me, holding his head down. I couldn’t help but turn my whole body and watch him until he left. If I reached out, I probably could have touched him. It felt good to be close but I suffered the pain of missing him the next few days. At least I know he wanted to be near me, too.

I love him, I tell myself, knowing my feelings are true but painfully recognizing I’m not supposed to feel this way. It’s hard to let go of someone with whom you believe you had a special connection. He’s not someone I should romanticize, but regardless of all these other boys with glasses, he’s the one I miss. Or at least I fantasize about how we could be, I’m holding onto the possibility of our comeback, his redemption and my jubilation, knowing full well that the love has been leaving his eyes. I don’t know what will happen, but I’m on the phone with him right now, reminiscing about the sight of his glasses on my bed.

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I didn’t realize how hard it is to make friends as an adult. When I bring this up to others, they tend to agree with sighs that are deeply personal but they offer little to no insight.

There are a lot of reasons why friendships aren’t the quantity or quality we may hope for. I think the biggest reason is that we don’t know where to look for them.

In a Chicano Studies class at San Diego City College, my professor had us read ...y no se lo tragó la tierra. I was looking for a direction to take my life and Tomás Rivera, the author and a former dean at UC Riverside, altered my personal compass with his preface on the significance of being committed to your community. At the time, this spoke to my aspirations as a political scientist but now I’ve come to appreciate that it is our neighbors who comprise a community worth fighting for.

There was nowhere that I felt more belonging than the IE, but I knew I’d have to strengthen my roots in Riverside to find the life I envision for myself. It was through much personal experimentation and friends of friends of friends that I finally found a direction that I’m confident in– I claimed an identity and a community that have enriched my life.

By nature, punk scenes are exclusive– you have to agree on foundational principles that universally govern participants. Some community builders argue that third places cause harm by being exclusive, but exclusivity is specifically necessary for making meaningful bonds. Values about social conduct, presentation, and who you associate with matter as much as cultural interests, heritage, and how you spend your free time. Relationships that last are based on shared principles that inform a lifestyle, not superficial connections or vague associations.

The authentic punk scene is grassroots, alternative, and working-class, so it is heavily affected by politics. Making friends is extremely important right now, because the precarious political climate demands that we build community. These bonds are more than distractions or easements from loneliness and existential worries; they are mutual aid networks and acts of resistance. Regardless of how introverted our fear may insist we be, humans are naturally social and we need to maintain our collectivist roots.

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Isabel and I had been running in the same circles years before we formally met– dating musicians, serving looks, and pursuing artistic projects. When I think about it, I’m pretty sure I had seen her before, I’m pretty sure I had thought she was so cool. After a breakup, I distanced myself from those circles and still managed to unite with Isa at a friend of a friend’s house party years later.

In the first year of our friendship, we’ve changed each other’s lives. We support each other through hardship, we dance together at Goth Night every Thursday, and we hold one another accountable for their aspirations. Among the events and activities that created our bond, the most strengthening aspect is sharing an identity within our community and, therefore, sharing personal values.

Although a lot of factors influence these values, physical proximity is uniquely significant. Meaningful long-distance friendships are valid and it is valuable to expand your perspective by expanding your connections, but face-to-face interaction in an increasingly digital world is necessary because it influences how we operate in daily life. The opportunity to share intimate knowledge about each other’s day-to-day establishes shared resources and boundaries that teach us how to pour into each other. What’s more, certain experiences that develop self-love can only be achieved in collaboration. The nature of a physically close friendship is also somewhat of a safeguard against the concerning consumerist culture of disposing of relationships like products. Basically, being in close proximity allows friends to intimately share in life in such a compelling way that the relationship evolves into a commitment.

Maybe, subconsciously, risking commitment is why we avoid the labor of creating friendships– but who better to be committed to than your neighbors? They benefit from your friendship as much as you benefit from theirs.

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It’s really interesting to review previous diary entries. “I know her, but she doesn’t know me”

I feel like I’ve been doing so much and yet accomplishing nothing at all. I’ve been writing, partying, socializing, beading, painting, drawing, and cooking. I even completed the No Kings protest project and published my photoessay on July 4th. Maybe I feel as though I’m not accomplishing anything because there’s no monetary reward involved.

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10/4/2025 edit:

If I didn’t need an income to survive, I would be opposed to monetizing my work in its early stages, especially given that so many members of our community struggle with financial insecurity as well. Unfortunately, I do and I know a lot of you love me enough to offer support, so please consider pledging =) I would very much love to be freelance and fully dedicate my life to a career in grassroots academia and art.

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I really don’t feel like writing today, not that I don’t want to but I don’t have the focus.

Luckily, discipline does not require motivation.

Unfortunately, I’m sick. I partied very hard and now I have a cold.

There’s no reason to not work on anything today, but I would rather rot and be mindless.

Maybe at the very least I can try setting a plan for the week or elaborating on some ideas….

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I had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe it’s because Uranus moved into my 6th house of Gemini, so adult responsibilities are on my mind.

I’ve been putting off a lot of adult stuff and there’s always an excuse to do so– breakups, holidays, family events, health issues, benders, money, the world falling apart. I’m going to be 30 in almost a month and I’m not where I hoped I would be, but I do think I have found peace in where I am.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be unemployed and pursue my passions. I wish I were doing so with more single-mindedness and momentum. If I can lock in for 30 days, my life will change, right? Or at least 30 days will lead to 365 days, and then my life will change, right?

All I know is that selfishness is on the tip of my tongue. I’m only doing what I want to do, I’m comfortable with even my worst thoughts, I’m putting all of my love towards believing in my worth.

I just broke up with Ulysses so I can focus on my career– anyone and anything is on the chopping block.

I have an idea of who I want to be and I feel more like her than before, thanks to hard work. If hard work got me this far, and in retrospect, it does not hurt as badly as it may seem to, then why am I so reluctant to take on more hard work that will propel me further?

Hard work isn’t just the labor spent working on projects, which doesn’t feel too laborious when it’s a topic you care about; it’s also about knowing and upholding boundaries, capabilities, capacity, and momentum.

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Last night, I saw a post on Reddit that reads as follows:

Goal without deadline = fantasy

Goal + deadline = objective

Goal + deadline + plan = intention

Goal + deadline + plan + consistent action = success

Personal, meaningful goal + deadline + plan + consistent action = fulfillment

I really appreciated this theory and I have so much to say about it.

A goal without a deadline? Is that my podcast, is Our Fourth Space a fantasy of mine? Is it my ambition to be a college professor? Is it even my fitness goals?

A goal with a deadline? Is that my endeavor to be a CNA, despite my deadline being forced upon me rather than intentionally pursued?

A goal with a deadline and a plan? That was my endeavor to be a nurse, before I misused my money and misarranged my priorities.

A goal with a deadline and a plan and consistent action? I can’t remember the last time, outside of school, that I meaningfully accomplished something I was actually proud of within a rigid framework. Sure, I’ve accomplished many things, but none so intentionally.

A personal, meaningful goal with a deadline and a plan and consistent action? I would hope that is how I start approaching the ZaraBizarra projects.

I don’t want to say I’m ashamed, but I’m definitely restless and uneasy. I didn’t sleep well. I’m worried about some health factors, stressors like my cat’s health is keeping me on edge, I don’t feel like I can trust friends, etc, etc.

I don’t just want to be a visionary or even just someone who is reliable, I want to be someone who accomplishes things. I want to be the type of person who goes above and beyond! Is something wrong with me that I don’t do that yet?

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2 months until I’m 30!

I woke up feeling great because I’m even more detached from my ex. It’s not just that our last few days of hanging out rendered me anxious; it’s also that I want to detach– I am choosing to detach. I don’t necessarily want to demonize him– I reject the idea that every ex is a revolting demon-- but I want to acknowledge with intentional love for myself that I am not bound to him.

I wanted freedom after all, so why continue my servitude towards a relationship that didn’t fulfill me? It’s almost as if, from the very beginning, we agreed we’re okay with things not working out.

Also, after Goth Night the other day, a really handsome guy asked for my Instagram. I said no, but looking back, he could have been super fun.

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There is definitely a strong instinct in me that is opposed to men. Yes, this is a collective shift that femmes are feeling, but I think it has spiritual roots in me. Given what I know about my grandparents and parents’ experiences in relationships, I intuitively know I am fighting to live autonomously. Especially given that I struggle with feeling too masculine, the fact that I am nauseated by masculine partnership in this period of my life is very telling. Long gone are my days of being boy crazy– whether that’s because of unwarranted abuse or hard-earned maturity, I’m thankful that they no longer obsessively captivate me, and I’m sure that when I do return my attention, it will be for a good reason. Until then, I am neither insecure or bored enough to depend on them for fulfilling my quiet moments.

More than anything, I’m loving my Frog Princess masquerade. I love being elegant, free-spirited, and confident in a whimsically absurdist way. I love feeling like I’m transcendent.

Being in good company, well-dressed, and authentic to myself is invigorating. I love waking up feeling vital and alive. There is not a bone in me that will be persuaded into doing anything I don’t want to, yet I want to do everything! I have a lot of energy for my goals right now!

I feel very creative today– it’s just a matter of how I feel like expressing that energy. Part of me wants to be physically emotive– I’d like to gym, bike, walk to the park, and dance. I know I also need to clean my apartment, and I’m excited for the opportunity to care for this beautiful space that protects and nourishes me. I definitely feel like producing more content as well, proving that tapping into a flow state is both meditative and intoxicating.

The other day, I shared my ideas about self-induced hallucinations on TikTok. One commenter said I’m referencing drug addiction and that it’s not a spiritual experience but a mental health crisis. She doesn’t understand that every detail of life is a spiritual experience. You’ll have the experience, understanding, and clarity that you want to have.

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Today I was thinking about the beauty of unplanned things.

I also thought about self-induced hallucinations.

Both are philosophies of the Party Girl.

Especially as a Capricorn rising, let alone the daughter of a South Asian father, I’ve had my neuroses about being prepared. Any type-A knows what I mean– plans for a prosperous career, trauma around anticipating other’s needs, and generally living in this era means I stressed the f*** out when goals fell through, I fell short, or time was wasted.

Fortunately, some of the most beautiful aspects of my life have been unplanned. I didn’t expect a Peace Studies class to change the course of my entire future. I also didn’t anticipate moving to Denver after dropping out of university. I definitely didn’t plan to date a drummer and find community among artists of the SoCal DIY scene.

As a matter of fact, today would have been the one year anniversary for my most recent ex-boyfriend. Funny, how things can’t be anticipated.

Learning to let go of control was honestly very hard for me– like, maybe harder than it should have been. I spent a lot of my twenties believing I am generally undeserving of or ill-equipped for life.

If everything had worked out as I had planned it back in 2015, I would be a human rights lawyer by now. I’d be living in New York, working for the United Nations, contributing to research on Indigenous Knowledge and environmental policy, and setting the standard for couple goals with my high school boyfriend.

Sweet, smol Zara.

The thing is, no matter the details of my current situation, it would be a hard decision to trade the journey I’m choosing. What is a perfect life anyway?

One particularly significant moment in my life– both enlightening and a bit humiliating– was when I cried to my successful, older, American Dream-coded aunt and uncle about not knowing what to do with life. At the ancient age of 26, I had literally failed at living– I couldn’t do anything right! What was left to plan, let alone attempt?

To survive, to simply pull myself out of bed, I learned to start recognizing the beauty in the unplanned. (A special, sincere shout-out to my brother for contributing to a beautiful life that I could draw strength from) Now, I’m addicted to it-- “the beauty of the unplanned”.

My heart literally skips a beat when I think about how Bhindi, The Street Cat, came into my life. I can spend an entire afternoon admiring the natural awe of the clouds, trees, lake, and ducks at Fairmount. I should write an essay praising the virtues of random side quests. The paradox here is that everything happens exactly as it’s meant to, even the “unplanned”. Bhindi is a key figure in defining relationships with roommates and friends. The randomness of nature inspired my belief that everything is art. Of course, side quests enrich life!

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If the Party Girl is in collaboration with the universe, then she must have gratitude for the unplanned and to do so, she should be skilled at energetically connecting to a receptive vibration– I identify this activity as a “self-induced hallucination”.

To clarify, it’s self-induced because it is ideally without influence from intoxicating substances and it is also an entirely personal activity.

For me, I tend to most easily channel this vibration with the right instrumental music. When I’m at a show and I ground into my body– into the moment– I feel like I’m capable of anything the universe sends my way. It’s transcendental.

Although I never imagined these discoveries when I started experimenting with this philosophy, I can’t imagine a better way to pinpoint that what makes the party girl lifestyle so alluring apart from her pursuit of transcendence.

Dichotomies of the philosophy– sobriety and indulgence, autonomy and social skills, self-love and empathy, etc etc– are life lessons about living intentionally. The Party Girl, in her prime form, lives intentionally because she is skilled at balancing creativity with discipline.

Moving forward, I now recognize that intentional living must have some relationship to the transcendental state, in which humans collaborate with the universe. This must be studied more and I think it will also contribute to the study of manifestation! Of course, “being in a flow state” is “being in a transcendental state”!

I’ve got chills. We’re coming full circle!

Maybe because I feel like I’m in a flow state right now…

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I realize that something has been holding me back from publishing my thoughts on party girl philosophy.

Of course, I'm intimidated by knowing that I don't know what I don't know, but even more maddening, I'm intimidated by claiming that I'm an authority. This isn't imposter syndrome in the sense that I'm stressed about proposing that I am a party girl, but rather, I'm concerned about the impact of sharing my research and assessments from a place of authority.

The thing about the party girl is that she is very skilled at tapping into her inner authority, which encourages action based on decisions that are informed by habits of self-regulation and impulses of intuition, for better or for worse. Inside and outside of the party, she is in constant communication with her inner authority so much so that the unevolved party girl parties with the intention of escaping it. Regardless of the progress of her evolution, the transformative nature of the party girl's lifestyle demands that she have a relationship her inner authority. So, I also have a compass that authorizes my decision to develop and share my expertise on the lifestyle.

Inside the party, the party girl uses her inner authority to guide her experience. From her first impressions of the scene to expressing herself on the dance floor and making friends in the bathroom, before closing out safely. These responsibilities provide her inner authority with practice at self-regulating in a manner that is collaborative with the universe, which is her ultimate fascination. Outside of the party, her inner authority holds the party girl accountable to the responsibilities that fuel her lifestyle. Eating well, getting rest, earning expendable income, nurturing relationships, maintaining her appearance, diversifying herself through hobbies other than partying, etc. Importantly, her inner authority demands accountability for her personal growth and, given that partying is a largely social activity, that evolution tends to be about her identity in relation to her world. Therefore, these acts of self-regulation become habits that define her collaboration with the universe.

Of course, the unevolved party girl who struggles to balance creative experiences with a disciplined life often numbs her inner authority, but that in itself is evidence of her tethered connection to it. At this point, a person's frustration with balancing creativity and discipline will decide whether they pursue a lifestyle outside of the party scene-- perhaps by centering family, school, or other commitments. If a person decides to pursue the party girl lifestyle, then her inner authority will necessarily collaborate to force her evolution.

Indeed, one of the most interesting aspects of the party girl lifestyle is its utility as a catalyst. I myself decided to adopt the lifestyle specifically because I enjoy how learning to balance creativity with discipline fuels my evolution-- apart from studying the human experience, it's my ultimate fascination. By virtue of the title, the party girl actively engages life-- its flirtatious, opportunities are abundant, no day is the same, and so she cannot remain the same.

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It is true that the party girl lifestyle can be complicated, dramatized, risky, and draining, but it is because of its messy nature that the party girl becomes transformed by it. In her unevolved state, this can be a problematic distraction that inevitably forces her to choose growth. In her evolved state, this can be a challenge that fuels her choice to pursue alignment with intention. Either way, the decision is influenced by her inner authority that operates in favor of her best interest. The frequent demand to self-regulate when faced with messy obstacles implies that connection to her inner authority is more than just a byproduct of consciousness, but rather decision-making is a skill she must master to evolve.

A few examples to demonstrate the relationship between inner authority and decision-making:

1. It is not possible to be friends with everyone and, indeed, a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. Given that the party girl's lifestyle is social, her inner authority demands that she commit to specific relationships, moderate her social behaviors, and even bear the responsibility of claiming or rejecting a social scene.

2. I have yet to draw deep wisdom on this matter myself, as it haunts possibly every femme to have ever existed-- the party girl is distinctly aware of her physical appearance. Her inner authority illuminates her favorite features, challenges the authenticity of her aesthetic expressions, and even teaches her about self-respect.

3. The party girl's inner authority is keenly aware of risk because the human brain is keenly aware of survival. Whether she will act responsibly or not, it will force her to choose long-term or short-term satisfaction. I suggest that the party girl's inner authority may have a particularly fiendish dependency on gratification but in her evolved state, her capacity for discipline is another expression of this insatiable desire to feel fulfilled.

Put plainly, the evolved party girl makes decisions that balance creativity with discipline because she is skilled at tapping into her inner authority, which is driven by the desire to collaborate with the universe in pursuit of transcendent experiences.

Of important consideration is the role that intuition plays in this relationship between the party girl and her inner authority. The party girl lifestyle is not for the weak, or at least not for those who aren't specifically called to it-- although humans tend to cycle through some iteration of the party lifestyle at some point in their life, many people's intuition encourages them to opt out. Those who retain the lifestyle are intuitively drawn to it and fated to evolve under catalytic conditions, for better or for worse. Similarly, this conversation about intuition is not for those who are not spiritual, as we are about to discuss abstract concepts that elaborate on the activity of collaborating with the universe.

My survey of contemporary interpretations define intuition as a spiritual or even five-dimensional consciousness that communicates with your ego or three-dimensional physicality. I stray from this definition-- I am under the impression that intuition is an activity, not an entity. Instead, it is your highest consciousness that uses intuition to guide you toward self-realization. Worth noting is that the universe itself may be neutral but the highest self is likely neither neutral nor extreme. If our highest consciousness wants us to become self-realized and common knowledge confirms that the best way to learn something is by doing it, then our evolved selves may employ intuition to guide us toward experiences that challenge our evolution. Disciples of other philosophies revere intuition, so there is no arguing it's significance if you're spiritually inclined, but there is much room for discussion about whether the highest-self is neutrally or uniquely balanced.

Having affirmed that intuition influences the inner authority as much as self-regulation strengthens it, we can appreciate the complexity of decision-making. Indeed, it is a very natural difficulty that can only otherwise be reconciled through faithfully collaborating with the universe, by trusting the process.

The evolved party girl's skill with outwardly expressing authority is earned through mastery of her inner authority. In my frantic fervor to collaborate, how often have I jumped into an experience that an unevolved Frog Princess would have shied away from? I don't claim to be the evolved party girl yet, but if my inner authority is strong enough to endure the party girl lifestyle through self-regulation and has repeatedly proven to weather my bouts of intuition, then surely it must also authorize me to publish my thoughts on party girl philosophy-- especially if I feel divinely urged to do so.

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When I say “party girl,” what do you immediately think?

I’ve asked many friends, party-goers or not, and they typically describe irresponsibility.

In season 2 episode 4 of Sex and the City— “They Shoot Single People, Don't They?”— Carrie is ambushed by the “Single and Fabulous?” magazine cover page. The girls had partied until the morning, causing her to mishandle the magazine's photo shoot so disastrously that they altered the article to critique women who party in their thirties.

Being on the cusp of thirty myself, I have spent many days and nights contemplating whether I’ve lost sight of the bigger picture. Am I irresponsible, selfish, an over-developed child? No. Don’t even try me.

As a matter of fact, one of the most influential role models in my life is a sixty-year-old party girl. Imagine the resources and characteristics, the experiences and blessings that color her beautiful life. Having been her adopted daughter for several years, I can attest that her satisfaction with life comes from her ability to balance creativity with discipline. Mental, physical, spiritual, and financial responsibility are core tenets of her personal philosophy— be someone you can be proud of, but don't take life too seriously. Watching her enjoy life with a supportive husband, I was given the security and inspiration to develop my own personal philosophy about living intentionally. My newfound vivacity pulled me out of deep depression and set the foundation for my ideas about actively collaborating with the universe, which has ultimately resulted in party girl philosophy.

Experimenting with these ideas for many years, having an education in Global Studies, and being a contemporary TikTok user have led me to believe that spiritual transcendence is possible for humans. Of course, the academic in me is frustrated that this notion is hard to prove, but you either believe in magic or you don’t. I personally experience transcendence every time a song, a kiss, or a sunset steals my soul. The common theme for many belief systems and questions that plague humanity is what transcendence reconciles: proximity to divinity. This cannot be achieved by replication but rather through recognition, in partnership with your chosen Creator.

You don’t need to be a god to be sensually overwhelmed by nature, to envision your legacy, or feel accomplished— you just need to connect to the universe’s energy, and the best way to do that is to live intentionally, in a good faith collaboration.

The party girl is misunderstood. She is in pursuit of a lifestyle that allows her to transcend. Like every other human, she explores her relationship to the divine.

It is important to note that many lifestyles might afford the benefit of transcendence, but there are different types of people and different forms of expression, so there are also different strategies for transcending.

Unfortunately, many party girls use substances to connect to divinity. No, I won’t say it’s a fake connection, because all art is art, but it is an adverse approach to the philosophy. The Party Girl, in her evolved state, pursues a transcendental state by living intentionally. Her intentions are pure, and her strategies can be too. Notably, we do not shame imaginations about well-intentioned channels of magic or those who are well-intentioned but misguided in their endeavors. My work on party girl philosophy may bear some critique, but it is foremost intended to be an academically inclined case study for sociological and philosophical thought.

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Here, we should briefly address the conditions that prevent party girls from evolving and recognize that responsibility is fundamental to the philosophy. Follow my train of thought– you’re stressed about health insurance (it’s really expensive and it’s illegal to not have in CA), but it’s “adult stuff” and you’re freshly an adult (why didn’t they teach us about it in high school??), so you want to numb out a bit (this contemporary age is all about distractions anyway) and you use your energy to party (whether that’s club, kickback, or finish a bottle of wine with your cat on a weeknight). What have you cost yourself? But if you live intentionally, recognizing that responsibility is an opportunity to collaborate with the universe, you can take control of your health and benefit your future self, whose dignity (and ability to party with a clear conscience) is dependent on your good grace.

We know the cycle— stress, numb, face the consequences of your actions, stress, numb, face the consequences of your actions. This is a perpetual hell! And the capitalist, patriarchal hellscape we endure benefits from our dissociative lifestyles. Our oppressors want us to be disempowered from living with dignity, from having proximity to divinity.

Thus, party girl philosophy is more than just a lens for living authentically; it is a guide to pursuing our highest selves, who are closest in proximity to the divine.

As a lens, it can address the need for contemporary philosophy that our current fixation with hedonism, aestheticism, Marxism, neo-feminism, spirituality, and other lenses fail to provide to a population of young, well-educated, affluent, and increasingly self-aware souls.

It’s a crucial experiment for assessing the human experience and, so, it is perhaps zarabizarra’s most significant project.

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Recently, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on party girl philosophy. Party Girl Philosophy. I'm very proud of the concept, and ideas are oozing out of me.

My days are spent living exactly as myself, for better or for worse. I am authentically me because I do not pretend to be someone else for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. One could argue that at work, under a mask, you're still an iteration of yourself, and it even benefits you to have structure in your life. I totally agree, but I refuse to ever do another job that isn't authentic to me.

So these days, in my unemployment and the onset of my 30s, while I'm a little downtown girly in Riverside, I am balancing aspirations with responsibilities, despite being totally feral. I spend my days listening to Spanish music, writing about love, experimenting with creative impulses, and dancing at every opportunity. I'm having so much fun, I'm progressing, I'm evolving, I'm getting stronger, I breathe easier! (even though I'm smoking) I have done the labor of foundational shadow work. I have done the labor of getting a degree and having a profession. I have done the labor of securing a dignified living. Now, I'm experimenting, pursuing what I have yet to discover but am eager to make sense of. I spend every day in my lab or frolicking around my swamp.

And in these most authentic moments, I've uncovered truths and ideas about the human experience from a very raw lens that I did not expect to adopt— I call it "party girl philosophy," and it is my privilege to present this experiment to you.

I often ask, "What do you think of when you hear the phrase 'party girl'?"

Responses vary, but they're exactly what we expect: sharp critique or iykyk. I've even been told that I'm not the type who would know anything about her.

The party girl is misunderstood— she is an escapist, but in her evolved form, she is transcendental.

The party girl varies between shapes and sizes, experiences and opportunities. I can only develop the philosophy from my perspective, and of course, that means I also can't speak for the masculine experience, let alone many others, so this is a collaborative effort indeed. Nonetheless, I believe the philosophy reflects universal truths about the human experience.

Take the example of self-induced hallucinations. One of my proudest developments from the philosophy, it is the ability to intentionally embody a vibration that is collaborative with the experience. I've been asked to differentiate it from dissociation— although the hallucination could manifest as a positive or negative, you choose to let a flow engulf you with the intention to specifically match the vibe. The orgasm is my favorite example because it demonstrates how much an experience is dependent on the intent to engage with the vibration. Saving more about this for later, a self-induced hallucination is possible regardless of gender, race, class, religion, appearance etc.

This philosophy is as important as it is interesting because it is a powerful lens for examining the rawest aspects of the human experience. Essentially, I want to collaboratively develop a deeper understanding of universal truths that can be applied to work, school, socializing, responsibilities, getting dressed, playing with the cats, choosing a route to walk, saying prayers. Coupled with the more aesthetic or entertaining aspects of party girl philosophy, we are romanticizing the f*** out life.

That's a valuable skill. Time and time again, studies and anecdotes prove that health correlates to satisfaction with life, which is influenced by accomplishments, community, self-love, and other pleasures that make life worth living.

What's more, given the contemporary… *drama*… we desperately need philosophies that appreciate the human experience. What is worth fighting for if not a life worth living? The tendencies of my political education will pour from these fingers if I continue on this topic, but without a doubt, the utopia we dream of is dependent on the individual's love for life.

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Party girl philosophy is a treasure of epiphanies like this. Why is life worth living? What does it mean to embody your authenticity? Who are your various identities? What makes a conversation meaningful? Why is appearance consuming? How do you build lore? Why use drugs? How to balance creativity with discipline? What is gained by pushing your limits? What is gained by maintaining your boundaries?

A question that my desired audience will appreciate is one I've been contemplating for months, if not years since the first time it was used against me: what is a girl's girl? This topic is enormous and there’s likely no right answer but my proposed lens has a reasonable suggestion— a girl who empowers other girls’ evolution toward their highest alignment. The evolved party girl recognizes that life is a series of phases, so she can empathize with a hoe phase as much as an auntie phase, and she supports the femme's evolution with good intentions.

Maybe I feel the need to share this philosophy because I believe so strongly in the human right to pursue your highest alignment. Party girl philosophy as a collaboration will empower others with questions, aspirations, and stressors like us! We can't help who we are or explain why we love to party, but we're more than just novelty. We're your neighbors, girlfriends, besties, sisters, cousins, mutuals. In our evolved forms, we have the energy, empathy, and intention to make a difference for our communities.

This aspiration demonstrates that this philosophy has deeply spiritual roots that extend to practical applications— it is not just a light-hearted fantasy but a serious lens for exploring the human experience.

In my mind, the party girl only falls to escapism because she has unexpressed or misplaced energy. We deserve dignified and enriched lives, and the evolved party girl knows something that we don't, yet….

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I don’t know how to describe it, but I know I hate watching inspiration pass me by.

I think I’ve been doing too many drugs lately… my thoughts aren’t as cohesive and long-lasting.

There’s so much I’ve been wanting to talk about. Every time I say that phrase, I get frustrated because I know…

I literally fell asleep in the middle of writing that sentence.

I know I need to stop drinking and smoking. When creativity doesn’t flow out of me easily, it seems to be because my mind is clouded after a period of using substances. And that’s honestly on the topic of the party girl lifestyle. It may also be from donating plasma, sleeping in this heat, and not eating enough fresh food.

Today, I enjoyed a bit of the lifestyle I’ve afforded myself— I sat at a table downtown with my cat, my notebook, and a bottle of Soju. People-watching with Luna was so peaceful, and shout-out to her for being so well-behaved.

I also spent quite a bit of time on Instagram today, responding to messages and reposting flyers and memes. It’s safe to say I feel okay, post-breakup.

Of course, the secret to my rapid recovery is that my ex and I are still close. There are boundaries— he took 90% of his things home, we’re hanging out and talking less— but none of them matter as much as the biggest boundary of all.

Why is it that titles make such a difference? Since I stopped calling him my boyfriend, it’s so much easier to enjoy him! Before I felt the weighted dread of wonder:

Was my potential husband going to be this person whom I didn’t like certain things about?

Was I ready to pick my potential husband?

Was I ready to be locked down at all?

Without the title, I feel more free to appreciate him— flaws included. Which prompts another pressing question I’ve had: why is it so easy to stop appreciating your partner?

I think this issue is uncomfortably related to the third question listed above— I’m not ready to be locked down. Is that okay?

The thing is, I’m a frog *princess*, not a frog queen. I still want to be courted, I’m still a maiden, and I have other projects to work on besides matrimony. There’s nothing wrong with his desire for security or commitment— as a matter of fact, many femmes would be thrilled with his contented disposition, but I’m not. Is that okay?

At a time in life when most kids my age are getting married and even having children, I am more reluctant than ever to settle down. I’m focused on healing my shadows, building a lifelong career, and, of course, party girl activities. Is that okay…?

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Well, regardless of whether or not, it’s alright, this is the life I have chosen.

To be honest, boys are the last thing on my mind. It’s a far cry from the boy-crazy mentality of my early twenties but I’m not complaining. It might seem a wasted opportunity, or even antithetical, to enjoy being a little party girl without the intention of having little dates. Unfortunately, the idea just doesn’t really appeal to me anymore. If anything, without intending to shame, I’m actually more wary than ever of femmes who center mascs— I’m frustrated frankly.

It’s not just that I’m bored of gossiping about the problems boys cause my girlfriends, it’s that boys give me the ick. How can I watch so many beautiful, smart, and talented women waste their time and energy on the drama these guys cause? Of course, I have been suspect #1 in this matter— actually, just lock me up right now, a life sentence is more than deserving. Also, the dating drama of our twenties is the foundation for important life lessons and you know I love studying the human experience, so I appreciate the process of evolution. I think the biggest turn-off for me is the social divide between the sexes.

Without even needing to kiss them, the very existence of mascs causes so much drama. Yeah, all art is art, but damn. My three biggest issues are 1) the division they cause amongst femmes, 2) social customs around femme-masc friendship, and 3) the concerning power dynamic that’s finally being addressed in the mainstream.

I hope these issues— male-centered femmes, being friends outside of your gender, and partnership— are topics that the party girl lens can address or at least lend insight.

Anyway, one of the core tenets of party girly philosophy is opposition to property ownership. I will die on this hill, you cannot be a well-meaning party girl and be possessive of anything other than you’re self-worth. So, I am not ready to be possessed myself, and I don’t want to worry about possessing another person.

For now, I want freedom.

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Dear Diary,

It feels like the universe is ushering in a new chapter. Although it’s scary, I understand that life follows the seasons of rebirth, health, decay, and death. In the current instance, the only changes I really mourn are the loss of friends. Milo, the old, fat, and blind cat, has reportedly passed away, as have many other friends’ pets. Several have picked a side on the social ladder we’re all climbing, for better or for worse. And, of course, my boyfriend and I broke up last night. Still, though, life moves on.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about being a party girl. Typically, that concept gets a lot of hate but I recently watched a TikToker share that clubbing is actually a ritual— I felt totally seen! She said she practices glamour magic while getting ready, she loves spending time with friends and expanding her community, and she worships the high energy of the venue. In my opinion, her opinion is further evidence that positivity attracts positive energy.

The party girl lifestyle doesn’t have to be a melodrama of chaos, mine isn’t, after all (although it's definitely busy). Instead, I think it’s a beautiful spiral of self-development. Life moves along and the party girl lifestyle is the perfect mixture of creativity and discipline that propels us forward.

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Take the typical week of a party girl, for example, or at least my typical week:

Monday: rest, recovery, some semblance of order that makes you remember your principles and goals, either get a lot done or get nothing done but tell yourself you’re preparing for the week, reflect on the weekend, lock in at the gym

Tuesday: wake up with gusto (energy to take on responsibilities), definitely take action in the real world, feel thankful that you’re on your big girl s*** and that it feels amazing, appreciate the routine of the gym

Wednesday: keep up the momentum, get lost in work, start mentally scheduling and preparing for the weekend, have fun at the gym

Thursday: the weekend starts, wrap up what you haven’t already finished, try to keep the momentum of big girl energy going, gym but no need for cardio if you’re gonna be dancing, fantasize about the next few days, stock the fridge, find any excuse to party (goth night??)

Friday: do only a little work or a ton of work, watch the clock, gym to get that glow, prioritize fun, coordinate plans with the gang, rest as necessary for the upcoming marathon

Saturday: rest as necessary, have a beautiful morning, ideally have plans during the day and the night, spend time outside instead of at the gym, eat well and prioritize fun

Sunday: rest, ideally have lowkey plans during the day, eat based on survival, activities of comfort (art, bingewatch, cook, beauty routine, etc), spend time with family or lock in for the week at the gym

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On Saturday, July 26th, the Inland Empire Tenants Union (IETU) hosted a press conference and rally to protest Mike Nijjar’s monopoly over housing in Southern California. In solidarity with the Inland Equity Community Land Trust and the Inland Empire Reading Group for Political Education, the event was held across the street from Hightower Management’s office in San Bernardino.

Hightower, along with PAMA, Bridge, and IE Rental Homes, was publicly condemned by the protestors, but they are only a few of Nijjar’s many subsidiaries that exploit working-class renters (some of which are listed in the audio recording at the top of this article). According to a 2020 LAist article, Nijjar controls the well-being of tenants in 16,000 properties in San Bernardino County, Riverside County, Los Angeles County, and Kern County, among other regions. Nijjar’s wealth is estimated to total $1.3 billion in real estate alone, while his typical renter lives paycheck to paycheck, at risk of being evicted.

Although there is much to be said about the financial scandal that is Nijjar’s empire, the overlooked but obvious truth is that housing insecurity costs the average American their right to a dignified life and their personal agency.

It cannot be argued that housing isn’t necessary for a dignified life. Having a stable home impacts health, employment, access to social services, and even social standing. The adequacy of the home also impacts self-worth, safety, finances, culture, and many other details that make up a life. Simply put, your environment is a reflection of you.

In 1948, the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights recognized that housing is a human right in Article 25–

“Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.”

As if common sense needs a legal precedent, other documents, such as the Convention on the Rights of the Child, also enshrine the connection of this basic right to a dignified living. The International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR), for example, does so in Article 11–

“The States Parties to the present Covenant recognize the right of everyone to an adequate standard of living for himself and his family, including adequate food, clothing and housing, and to the continuous improvement of living conditions.”

Interestingly, the US has not ratified the ICESCR and isn’t compelled by international law to guarantee that its citizens are housed. To that point, there are no admittances under any federal law that guarantee Americans are entitled to housing. Instead, The Fair Housing Act, or “Title VIII” of the Civil Rights Act of 1968, simply safeguards protected classes from being discriminated against in their pursuit of housing. However, in a unique instance, in 2011, Madison County in Wisconsin adopted a resolution that confirms housing is a human right and references the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights as well as the Convention on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination in its reasoning. In 2021, in a failed but substantial instance, House representatives Pramila Jayapal (WA-07) and Grace Meng (NY-06) attempted to pass the Housing is a Human Right Act, which would have “authorize[d] more than $300 billion for crucial housing infrastructure while reducing homelessness across America.” Of course, capitalist systems benefit from housing being a commodity rather than a human right. Fortunately, countries are transitioning to wellbeing-based systems of governance that center dignified living instead of economic systems.

The office of the UN Special Rapporteur on the right to adequate housing established a frequently cited, 7-point criteria that clarifies the minimum standards for “adequate housing”:

1. tenure over housing that prevents eviction

2. housing must supply basic services (water, energy, sanitation, storage, and disposal)

3. housing must be affordable

4. housing must be physically habitable and protect from hazards

5. housing must be accessible for protected classes

6. housing must be in a reasonable location with access to other human rights (employment, education, medical services, community, and other social centers like childcare)

7. housing must be culturally competent

The office also identifies local governments as the primary responsible guarantors of dignified housing. This is because local governments “tend to be assigned responsibilities for provision and management of services such as water, sanitation, electricity and other infrastructure; land-use planning, zoning and development, which relates to decisions regarding evictions, displacement and relocation; implementing programmes to upgrade informal settlements and inadequate housing; enforcing health, safety, environmental and building standards; providing local emergency shelter; putting in place or implementing disaster risk reduction and response policies; and regulating the use of public space.”

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In California, housing is not recognized as a human right, yet. In 2020, under the pretense of cost and duplicate efforts, Gavin Newsom rejected AB 2405, in which the state would have formally recognized that housing is a human right and required it to eradicate homelessness. In 2021, Darrell Steinberg, a former mayor of Sacramento, proposed an ordinance that would require the city to build enough shelter for its homeless population by 2023, but critics resented that it didn’t specify permanent housing. In its original language, the 2023 Assembly Constitutional Amendment 10 would have affirmed that housing is a right of all Californians and required local governments to house their communities. This amendment was heavily supported by social justice advocates, but opponents were concerned that it’s costly, vague, and could complicate legal proceedings. Although it did become codified last June as Res. Chapter 134, Statutes of 2024, any affirmation that housing is a human right was stricken from the text. Instead, it generally reaffirms that local governments must address the housing crisis through typical mechanisms. More recently, this June, a State Senator proposed that Sacramento county coalesce its resources to address homelessness, rather than each city within the county attempting to address the task itself. Although it could simplify certain aspects of the financing and construction process, it does little to resolve housing insecurity or the state’s supposed lack of funds.

Data from the 2024 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress estimates that 187,000 Californians are homeless, 127,000 of which are unsheltered. Being unsheltered means they are homeless and residing in places that are not deemed habitable, such as underpasses or parks. Unfortunately, it is unclear how many members of this population are specifically children within a family but the report suggests homelessness affects about 26,000 family members. What’s more, the report estimates that 9,000 of the 187,000 are minors without a family. For context, there are ~319,000 people living in Riverside– imagine that 59% of our population was homeless.

Especially considering that climate change, natural disasters, economic inequality, and armed conflict are increasingly plaguing our communities, it is more important than ever that our local and regional governments recognize housing is a human right and take immediate action to house every Californian.

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The IE Tenants Union formed in response to these troubling facts and the very real evidence that such matters do affect our community. Speakers at Saturday’s rally shared stories about neighbors who have been evicted or lost their homes in fires that would have been prevented with proper code enforcement, as well frustrations about safety in neighborhoods with high crime rates and health concerns about living in pest-ridden units. Examples such as these and the increasing cost of rent inspired IETU’s targeted opposition to Mike Nijjar and his monopoly over housing in Southern California. Their union seeks to address the housing crisis by empowering tenants to form mutual aid networks and safeguard their right to dignified living. They are also doing their part to push for a rent-free world by advocating for laws that improve housing security and by constructing affordable homes in Adelanto.

You can join their union, which has chapters in Riverside, Redlands, San Bernardino, Hemet, Perris, the High Desert, San Jacinto, and Indio. Or you can create your own.

A tenants union is a group of people with shared interest in their occupation of a building, neighborhood, or other local territory. Specifically composed of renters, a union is a mutual aid network that offers support in many forms but especially through collective action in response to crisis, such as an eviction or hazardous living conditions. Forming a tenants union is as simple as finding a group of 3+ renters, locating a safe space to gather, agreeing upon your purpose, maintaining frequent meetings with productive agendas, and taking action on your goals. Worth noting is that tenants associations are protected by state law and, therefore, can more easily seek legal assistance for addressing their concerns or achieving broader goals. The Pasadena Tenants Union, for example, grew from 3 organizers in 2016 to an expansive community that succeeded in passing Measure H in 2021. This city ordinance, proposed by the people and for the people, included rent control, just-cause eviction criteria, a rental registry, and tenant-staffed boards for assessing landlord/tenant disputes. Although forming a tenants union is simple, responding to housing crises never is, but there is power in solidarity.

A tenants union’s dual-purpose as a mutual aid network is absolutely invaluable, especially given the worsening political climate. Mutual aid networks are both defense and offense against the patriarchal and capitalist society that weaponizes isolation. In this culture that champions personal success, the individual is encouraged to blame their hardships on their neighbors rather than their government, which supposedly exists to guarantee its citizens a dignified life. Mutual aid networks not only humanize neighbors by fostering relationships, but they also empower members with an expansion of resources. The relationships that are built within a tenants union inevitably extend beyond a simple shared interest in housing– safety, nutrition, pollution, wages, religion, schooling, transportation, and gentrification are some of the many other concerns that unite a community. Collectively, neighbors improve their overall quality of life when everyone contributes their unique strengths within their reasonable means– and yes, people love to be helpful.

Improving our quality of life will improve our society, in a perpetual cycle of positivity.

So far, our cultural expectations for dignified living conditions have been systematically distorted by landlords, like Nijjar, who exploit tenants and even our own government, who is corrupted by lobbyists. Our culturally low expectations for dignified living conditions have extremely negative ramifications– allowing ourselves to be mistreated in homes that we struggle to pay for distorts our personal agency by psychologically threatening our sense of self-worth. Take the example of a “ghetto”-- a space where members of the perceived “lowest” castes are sequestered. Given that a person’s environment shapes their beliefs, appearance, behavior, socialization, choices, and even access to opportunities, it is obvious that an inadequate space instills an inadequate sense of self-worth in the resident, distorting their sense of agency over their life. Many formal studies prove that inadequate housing correlates to other social issues including poor health, functional illiteracy, and unemployment, as does empirical evidence. Especially considering that rent is so high, it is important to shift cultural expectations about dignified living. Of course, this means solidarity within the working class.

Without a doubt, a human’s basic right to a dignified life naturally guarantees a healthy sense of agency over their life, which is a prerequisite for sustaining a peaceful society– our governments need to be guaranteeing our human rights; otherwise, what is their purpose? Adequate housing is a right, not a commodity. We will never achieve a peaceful society if adequate housing is not guaranteed. As long as anyone is oppressed, everyone is oppressed. Saturday’s press conference was another cry of solidarity in a country that is rapidly assessing its citizens quality of life. Join a tenant’s union because it is in your best interest, because there is strength in community, because you deserve to live in dignity with the agency it affords.

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On Saturday, June 14th, 2025, Riverside participated in the national No Kings protest that reached global participation.

Going into this photo essay, it’s important to remember that our oppressors want us to feel isolated— if we think no one cares, if we shame ourselves for caring too much, if we stay silent, then we’re easier to manipulate. The following images are my community’s response to the worsening political climate. I don’t know anyone in these pictures, but they’re my neighbors and, even if for just the afternoon, they reminded me we’re in this together. I put together this documentation of the event in downtown Riverside to remind you that you’re part of our struggle, too.

Importantly, these photos demonstrate attention to protesters’ privacy and niche characteristics of the city. I did this to make a statement about how the issues we protest are universal, but it is the specificity of our city that defines our community’s response— who and what are we protesting for, where and when, how are we going to do it, and why is this reflective of us?

When the afternoon started for me, I thought photographing protestors around Magnolia trees could be a unique commentary about our community. Unfortunately, downtown doesn’t actually host many of these trees, let alone aerial views. Still, I think the concept is a testament to Riverside’s community that is gradually blooming into one of SoCal’s most significant cities.

One of my favorite photos, I love that the protest continually occupied the streets near the Center for Social Justice and Civil Liberties (CSJCL), next to White Park, which hosts cultural events. Interestingly, although these two spots outwardly testify to the city’s self-designation as an arts and culture district, their underuse exposes a different identity that warrants future investigation.

On top of the parking structure where I attempted to photograph protestors between Magnolia trees, this duo waved the El Salvadorean, American, and Mexican flags at protestors traveling from the CSJCL to the courthouse. Juxtaposed are Tesla charging stations— this protest isn’t just about executive overreach, it’s also about corporate overreach.

When I posted this image on Instagram, I wanted to make a statement about the use of glasses for safeguarding identity. In retrospect, I wish I had blurred the subject’s face, but I do appreciate the opportunity to showcase the friendly faces neighbors will find at protests. As for her costume, many protestors wore statement pieces that mocked the MAGA government’s tyranny, especially those referencing the American revolution.

Not a costume, but definitely a statement, this elder listed our general grievances with the American government. Although this protest specifically targeted the MAGA government, it’s important to firmly recall that every presidential administration has contributed to this list. We discussed the heat and how elders often can’t contribute to SoCal protests for health reasons. Unfortunately, capitalism seeped into the conversation and we joked that someone could make a fortune selling umbrellas like these.

This is one of my favorite photos for two reasons: 1) the message should inspire everyone who wants to defend their right to a dignified life and 2) hidden behind the signs is a family of four, including two small kids. Parents must teach their children about civic duty early on, especially considering that gens Alpha and Beta will be the frontline of resistance in the years to come.

Another photo where I wish I could better protect her identity, but damn that is a baddie for sure. Hidden behind her in the window is a figurine of Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind… so take that irony as you will.

Not a baddie, but a very good girl <3

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Riverside’s so-called “Arts and Culture District” is sprinkled with testaments to the city’s supposedly progressive and harmonic values.

Literally, one of my favorite photos from the day! Without words, this photo expressively communicates Riverside’s proximity to the ICE conflict.

Another of my favorite photos, this image showcases two important details about Riverside’s protest: 1) lowriders are a significant part of our local culture and 2) the protestors are circling the Mission Inn. Riversiders who know how the hotel actively influences our city can especially appreciate the significance of this image.

The Mission Inn, a National Historic Landmark, was founded by Frank Miller— a White settler from Wisconsin who moved with his family to Riverside in 1874 (4 years after the city was established, 24 years after CA became a state, and 26 years after Mexico ceded the land). Since 1992, the hotel has been owned by Kelly and Duane Roberts, who have an interesting autobio on the Inn’s website.

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“Tables at the Food Lab were littered with protest signs under boxes of Baba's and Monty's, and demonstrators were bursting through the windows of the terrace. At the top of Food Lab's parking structure, where locals know that some of the best sunset views wait for evenings with friends, I met a reporter with the Southern California News Group. Interestingly, she was a member of their education division-- ‘they just needed someone out here,’ she explained to me, ‘at least until 7:30’.”

—from Reflections on Riverside’s No Kings Protest

Under a golden sunset, protestors concentrated the rally, shoulder to shoulder, around lowriders and vintage cars parked at 10th and Market. The energy was high— music was playing, cars were honking, and everyone was cheering. It was a unifying moment <3

The energy was intense in a way that’s hard to describe, like a climax. We knew we had done a good day’s work of protesting, we were deeply proud of the ways we had shown up, but the day was ending and the severity of the situation was eager to confront us.

This is definitely one of the best photos of the night— dancing as a form of non-violent resistance, the use of smart technology for discussing social justice, debate over the dancer’s right to privacy, and the many ways people can contribute to a movement.

Although this picture is certainly worth 1,000 words, I want to focus on Riverside’s policing of the protest. This picture only shows a few guards but there were also armored vehicles, observers watching us from atop buildings, and many clusters of state-sanctioned terrorists guarding the courthouse, police station, and jail. As far as I know, there were no incidents and the overall protest wasn’t intensely policed, although I’m sure it was surveilled. This suggests a couple of things 1) local governments know that Riverside is not problematic and any attempts to paint our community as dangerous are acts of oppression, 2) police resources may have been spread thin and/or they underestimated Riverside’s turnout, 3) local governments made a conscious effort not to demonstrate police brutality to a community that at least somewhat still believes in the American dream, and 4) given that the MAGA government is at war with CA, especially LA, local governments may be reluctant to put a target on their cities, for any reason.

I want to take a moment to highlight the significance of third places in political movements. A lot of my work and personal philosophy are predicated on the idea that humans need a space to build community— community is a fundamental aspect of society, in the organization of the state as well as its regulation. The Civil Rights movement is an excellent case study to this point, especially in the case of churches, which offered grassroots resources for groups and events to safely organize. Given that a large portion of America’s population is not religious, especially among the younger generations who tend to lead political movements, where can we organize if not a church? Coffee shops may not overtly host political meetings for, but even just offering a space for protestors to recoup after an event is a very important service.

As much as the state will try to take advantage of us, and even our local governments will try to control our narrative, ultimately, those who are frontline to a community— the neighbors— hold the truest authority. A friendly reminder that a state exists to serve a people, so we shouldn’t relinquish our agency to a system that doesn’t safeguard our right to a dignified life.

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Every Thursday, Goth Night at Aurea Vista is packed, largely by regulars. Did these locals come out for No Kings too? I love this picture. I hope that everyone who claims Goth Night at Aurea Vista is impacted by this image— the next time you wait in line or smoke in the patio, remember that a few weeks ago your neighbors occupied the streets to protest for our right to party. And that’s not a joke, it’s the very serious reality of our political climate. If you’re still of the mindset that politics doesn’t affect you, do you have money to buy drinks? Are the friends you’re dancing with healthy and prosperous? Do the cops who camp outside make you feel safe?

I wish I had more space to share my photos, because I’m so proud of Riverside’s turnout. I wish everyone had the chance to attend, because protesting is a valuable experience. It’s a privilege to see your community take action, because it provides a sense of comfort. We’re all in this together, so please do your part and appreciate your neighbors for doing theirs.

Sending love, light, and action from afar <3

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Zarabizarra is about documenting the human experience, so I took the No Kings protest in Riverside as an opportunity to document my community through photo and sound.

On Saturday, thousands of our neighbors occupied the streets of downtown for a variety of reasons, but especially to protest executive overreach that is exposing our government's fascist intentions.

Initially, I joined the protestors with a sign reading "no one is illegal on stolen land" but as the crowd swelled, I realized that it would be a much different turnout than the typical Riverside protest.

Equipped with my camera, that evening I contributed to current events by documenting my neighbor's protest.

In this late-stage capitalist hell, there is much anxiety about our increasingly politicized lives. Many of us are restless with stress and guilt about how we can do our part to resist fascism now that it is blatantly apparent-- lest we take the side of silent accomplices. Distress about being well-informed, whether or not to act, and events out of our control hold us hostage.

It's important to know that our oppressors want us to feel powerless and immobilized with stress. We have systematically been ill-equipped to defend our best interests via the efforts of state and corporate actors who benefit from our complacency.

There are many ways to respond to current events, though. The devil works hard, but Instagram infographics work harder to advise us of ways we can get involved or at least calm our anxiety about feeling like we have nothing to give.

As for the grassroots photojournalist, we have a unique role that is often overlooked by many political actors.

Within my No Kings 6.14.25 project:

1. I documented Riverside's activity to highlight our local momentum

2. I experimented with privacy in political photojournalism

3. I recorded candid conversations to further emphasize the very human experience of protesting

4. And I highlighted the dichotomy between political activism and daily life

I've already written much about Riverside's momentum and my photo essay exploring the dichotomy can also be found elsewhere. So, here I'll discuss my experiment with privacy in the photojournalism of political events.

As common sense can tell you and Instagram graphics are quick to remind you— safeguarding privacy at protests of any nature is paramount. Especially given that our oppressors are now capable of extreme surveillance and tracking via modern technology, there is much discussion about protecting a protester's identity. The issue is so significant that political activists are regularly targeted, agents of oppression refuse to identify themselves, and governments are even making laws to restrict facial coverings.

As a grassroots photojournalist, I need to balance the goal of documenting a political event with the principle of respecting my subject's right to a dignified life.

My specific style as an artist has never been particularly interested in capturing faces anyway, but in this context, it is even more of an ethical choice rather than a personal taste.

Street photography style, a common form of protest photojournalism, is divided over whether subjects need to expressly consent to have their photo taken, let alone shared. There’s much debate over this matter but any sensible and respectful photographer can likely agree: do not photograph others as you do not want to be photographed.

Regardless, capturing faces in protest photography is somewhat unnecessary. Anyone can picture an enraged or frustrated or sorrowful or happy face, we don’t *need* more photos to communicate those feelings. In my opinion, the only excuses to do so would be to lend pathos to a project, to portray unique subjects, or to express the social exclusivity of an event. On a separate note, this warrants a conversation about who and why certain participants may have their faces exposed— protest leaders, police, costumed old men, etc.

Importantly, protest photographers must refrain from capitalizing on the drama of a community to which they do not belong. For example, the recent SoCal protests are largely a response to state-sanctioned racially-targeted kidnappings, so photos that exclusively depict the Latine experience would have enormous value. However, I'm not a member of that community, so I shouldn't even attempt that role beyond a project that explores my experience as their ally.

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I've long been of the mindset that including faces can be alienating to some audience members. If we're trying to communicate intense emotions and themes that unite humanity, then it's best to not alienate as many viewers as possible. Also, my personal lens interprets our community as being composed of Riversiders, indistinguishable between social groups.

The value of unifying rather than alienating people is significant in the micro and the macro. For the contemporary locale that is divided by social constructs of values and materials, not alienating members of the audience serves the important function of unifying neighbors who are actively being encouraged to isolate themselves. On the macro level, not alienating members of the audience serves to combat harmful dialogues about elements of our community. Take the case of the hit-and-run incident that dominated SoCal's coverage of Riverside's protest, for example-- many were quick to comment cruel ideas about how the victim deserved to get harmed for being on the street, how protestors are violent rioters, and how they would have similarly "defended" themselves. Thankfully, others who actually attended Riverside's protest defended the event as peaceful, but in the grand scheme of things, a couple of thousand will struggle to defend a protest from millions who want to insult it. Let's also take into consideration that prejudice has metaphysical elements-- protecting a subject's privacy from being energetically targeted by prejudice is as important as denying the prejudiced person an opportunity to perpetuate their own negativity.

On a similar but separate note, I would argue that we need to shift towards documenting the community rather than individuals anyway. Too much of our culture is predicated on the individual and I would prefer to contribute to philosophy about the collective. That’s why much of my work from Saturday’s protest was intent on capturing the candid human experience of protesting in terms of activities and locations, as well as the general vibe. More than simply documenting that Riversiders showed up, I want to provide evidence of the passion, pride, and positivity that characterizes our community. Many folks are intimidated by protests, but it's important to communicate that they are generally community-wide celebratory events, especially at the beginner level that popular movements tend to operate within.

In total, viewers who are not Riversiders may not appreciate the nuanced details of my photos, but I'm okay with that. I hope my photojournalistic endeavor to document my local No Kings protest helps maintain Riverside's momentum, resonates in the minds of locals who are familiar with downtown's scenery, and offers inspiration to other grassroots journalists who want to highlight their community's unique response to current events.

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On Saturday, June 14th, cities around the U.S. hosted a No Kings protest to oppose the MAGA government's executive overreach. Of course, the Los Angeles protests against forced deportation have been gaining international attention for weeks.

There's much to compare between LA's protests and those that happened on Saturday in Riverside, especially when considering data from the 2024 Census:

1. LA city is 472 sq miles and has a population of 3.9 million,

   1. 47% of the population identifies as Hispanic/Latino

   2. Although only 38% of the population holds at least a Bachelor's degree, it's important to note that that city colleges and universities hold 325,000+ students

   3. ~86-91% of the population is working age between 19-64

2. LA has an exemplary history of political activism that other cities, even in SoCal, have yet to replicate, notably beginning with the 1933 El Monte Strike in favor of farmers' rights

3. LA hosts protests for many reasons, apart from the kidnapping of immigrants

4. LA has enormous media value because of its reputation in pop culture, the economy, and with political affairs

5. LA's population is distinctly characterized by concentrated ethnic communities and educational communities

6. LA's geography provides an enormous pool of protest participants who can commute to event sites relatively easily

As for Riverside, I hate to admit it but we undeniably lack political momentum and that's a shame given the conditions we meet:

1. Riverside city is 82 sq miles and has a population of 324,000

   1. 55% identify as Hispanic/Latino

   2. Although only 26% of the population holds at least a Bachelor's degree, it's important to note that city colleges and universities hold 63,000+ students

   3. ~60-65% of the population is working age between 19-64

2. Riverside's history of activism is centered around race relations and labor movements, especially farm-worker rights

3. Riverside identifies as an arts and culture center with an international presence

4. Riverside is a well-established city, founded in 1870, whose long-term community is proudly local

5. Riverside's population is characterized by working-class communities who mostly work locally in blue collar industries or commute to white collar jobs in LA, OC, and SD

6. Riverside's geography uniquely connects Southern California's counties and hosts many important trade routes

I feel the need to briefly include statistics in this assessment to address some misconceptions about Riverside's value, which are often held by Riversiders themselves. Comparatively, Riverside only equates to 8% of LA's population, so it's easy to understand why the city is often overlooked. Our metropolitan center isn't as interesting and expansive as Los Angeles', our universities aren't famous, our industry isn't as diverse-- maybe the key denominator is that we seem to have "less opportunity" because we seem to have "less going on", but just because we're "less interesting" does not mean our experience as humans is any "less valuable".

Saturday's protest in Riverside was composed of at least three organizations that I know of, although I'm sure many more also rallied in support. Of course, 50501 was largely responsible for popularizing the No Kings day of action and had an enormous turnout. I also know the Inland Empire Communists and the Party for Socialism and Liberation Inland Empire chapter were in attendance, both of which had smaller but particularly passionate turnouts. The Riverside protest itself drew thousands of participants, although it has so far been poorly documented by local and regional news organizations, who are lumping the Inland Empire into one region or focusing their coverage on Riverside's hit-and-run incident.

The 50501 sponsorship of the protest was extremely controversial for leftists for two major reasons. Firstly, the event was sponsored by centrist figures like Walmart heiress, Christy Walton, and 50501 is managed by the liberal couple, Ezra Levin and Leah Greenberg, who are suspiciously absent from coverage of the organization but also hold reputations for being some of Washington's brightest stars. Secondly, the event resembles a pop culture moment that will likely fizzle into no meaningful or timely change. Leftists are quick to point out that popular protests like No Kings are PR stunts that offer an outlet for the general public's frustrations and fuel divisive news cycles.

I somewhat disagree-- I'm glad that we mobilized an enormous portion of the population for two major reasons. Primarily, many Americans do not have protest experience, so No Kings was a useful opportunity for them to develop the skill. Also, given that news outlets are quick to portray protests as violent, it's important that typically non-political Americans experience the excitement of a protest so they can contribute to changing that narrative. As for the concern that popular protests reduce momentum, there is little evidence for this claim, and frankly, it seems like another excuse for in-fighting between Leftists.

To be a Leftist is to be uniquely acquainted with pessimism, but pessimism does not improve a society-- try again, team.

Honestly, it was a total privilege to see Riverside turn out as it did-- folklórico dancers and lowriders entertaining crowds, multiple groups marching circles around downtown, grandkids on the shoulders of grandparents, and founding fathers taking pictures of caballeros. Of course, all of the local hotspots were hosting protestors. At Back to the Grind, I was immediately greeted by the passionate animations of the IE Communists on my left and the rushed serving of our favorite baristas to the right. Day drinkers at Retro on Main, The Lobby, and Pixels were waving signs, and even Worthington's was playing FDT by YG. Tables at the Food Lab were littered with protest signs under boxes of Baba's and Monty's, and demonstrators were bursting through the windows of the terrace. At the top of Food Lab's parking structure, where locals know that some of the best sunset views wait for evenings with friends, I met a reporter with the Southern California News Group. Interestingly, she was a member of their education division-- "they just needed someone out here," she explained to me, "at least until 7:30."

It was a pleasure to meet her, but I didn't appreciate the conditions at all.

Aren't we worth intentional coverage? Would Riverside's momentum fall with the sunset? Was she a member of our community enough to care how a Saturday night in downtown with protestors would play out?

We had a brief conversation about some mutuals of mine who thought they needed to go to the LA protests to make a difference.

Honestly, that line of thought is thoroughly disturbing, but I can appreciate why those who are new to politics may think that way.

News outlets are partly to blame for hyper-focusing on large metropolitan centers. Educational institutions are to blame for not teaching about civic participation. Employers are to blame for punishing political affiliation, let alone activism. Churches are to blame for politicizing ethics. Friends are to blame for overlooking the role of politics in their lives. And we, ourselves, are to blame for being simply too human.

Especially in an individualist, capitalist, patriarchal, and Judeo-Christian society, Americans confuse toxic productivity with success and mass appeal with meaningful impact. Indeed, a popular feature of mainstream discussions about activism is concern over the stress of wanting to contribute despite feeling powerless. Whether it's because you're working, disabled, uninformed, worried about your family's safety, have an event to go to, or are just checked out-- American's have a variety of "excuses" that hold them back from partaking in political movements without fully relieving their guilt for not doing so. It's just another symptom of systemic oppression.

What I wish I could say, individually, to every person who feels the above-described conflict is this: you have an obligation to your community that can be fulfilled in a variety of ways as long as you contribute intentionally in good faith.

You do not need to go to LA to protest, but you do need to encourage your siblings to join you in Riverside. You do not need to vote for president, but you do need to vote for your local representatives. You do not need to repost every political infographic, but you do need to understand the issues that affect your immediate community. You do not need to know every manifesto, but you do need to have a factual understanding of political ideologies. You do not need to dedicate yourself to every issue, but you do need to share responsibility for addressing those issues that are most personal to you.

More specifically, my response to those who feel like protests aren't important unless they're large-scale, like those in LA, is to emphasize the obligation we have to our communities of which we are frontline members. Those folks in LA share similar concerns to us in Riverside, but we do not share the same identity. One of the biggest issues America faces today is that it's too big to govern democratically. We need to be more concerned with what is happening in our immediate community and look to our neighbors only for support and inspiration. Angelinos do not hold the same stakes that Riversiders do in Riverside's fight. Regardless of the overlap in voter issues, freeways, taco shops, or PSL chapters, Angelinos don't know our struggles like we do and we don't know theirs.

That, by the way, is why I feel obligated to focus my career in grassroots journalism on Riverside rather than aspiring for larger organizations like the LA Times. I resent that coverage of the Riverside protest has been so spotty as much as I regret that I am simply too human to provide all of the coverage myself.

Again, to the news outlets who lump us into regional coverage-- you are traitors to the community you seized.

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I've been so worried for so long that Riverside lacks political engagement despite being the right demographic for notable momentum and even teasing political enthusiasts with hints of energy. But Saturday's protest gave me a lot of peace and fueled momentum in myself-- it's not that Riverside is a satellite, an afterquake of Los Angeles, it's that Riverside has yet to recognize its potential, which is the first step to being recognized by others.

Please take time to enjoy the photos I took from Saturday's protest. My specific style of photography focuses on capturing vibes, rather than highlights, and I have a lot to say about protecting the subject's privacy as well. This slideshow is for Riversiders primarily and for anyone interested in grassroots organizing at the local level secondly.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Riverside's value is akin to LA's, to SD's, we are simply in an earlier stage of development and we are obligated to document our community's growth.

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